Stories

Don’t just take our word for it – this is what some past guests have said about the course. Why not share your story?

David and Lise

First impressions for David and Lise were not positive. Lise was over from Australia for a wedding and thought David was ‘all the things about British bankers that were bad’. Meanwhile, he found Lise ‘a loud, annoying Aussie’! But several months in the UK changed their opinion of one another; they bagan dating and when Lise returned to Australia, David followed her out there. After a four month engagement they were married in Adelaide, Australia, and now live in London with their two children, Amelia and Eloise. Lise recalls an early adjustment she had to make: ‘David asked me not to cook so many roast dinners. I was averaging three a week trying to impress him!’

David’s parents had divorced when he was young. He said, ‘Reading The Marriage Book and spending time with Lise’s family and others who were still together really helped give me a picture of what it could be like and that it could be good’.

Their marriage got off to a challenging start: Lise contracted chronic fatigue (ME) from a virus and spent her days battling headaches and exhaustion. They decided to do The Marriage Course. Lise said, ‘Our marriage was ok- but it was during the time I had ME which put quite a strain on our relationship. I remember sitting on the floor for most of the course as I didn’t have the energy to sit in a chair and David sat with me. There were lots of tears and hugs as it was such a gloomy time, but it really helped us to see past our situation and focus on each other, which was what we needed.

‘It was great being there. We totally blocked everyone out and amazingly, although we were surrounded by a lot of people, we got lost in our own world. We were almost surprised at the end of the evening to find other couples sitting a few metres away. We particularly valued the sessions on communication and resolving conflict and have found ourselves adopting many of the practical tips modelled on the course. For example, we really notice the difference it makes when we have a date night, one of the course’s very practical suggestions.

‘We are chalk and cheese in terms of our personalities. But, taking part in The Marriage Course has given us the confidence that, even though we are very different and often don’t agree on many things, our marriage is and will be strong. We have learnt the skills to understand our differences and keep our communication clear. Of course, it’s not always easy and we don’t always do it right, but we now know how to work at clearing up a mess when just get into one!’

David and Lise

Paul and Sonja

Sonja: 'Before doing The Marriage Course we didn’t really understand how we each wanted to receive love. I would do what worked for me, and Paul would love in the way that worked best for him. In practice this meant that Paul, whose primary love language is physical touch, would frequently try to express love to me by putting his arm around me and giving me a kiss or cuddle. However, I grew up in the States in a home where we didn’t necessarily go round showing physical affection, so physical touch was not as important to me. Now because I’ve come to understand that it is very important to Paul, I try to make sure that I hold his hand or hug him or something like that.'

Paul: 'I realised that kind words are something that’s more important to Sonja, more important than they are to me. She needs feedback and encouragement about her work, how she looks when we’re ready to go out, or if she’s made a nice meal.'

They said: 'The course changed our attitudes towards each other. We came to understand so much about the way we could relate to each other and convey our feelings and love. It’s part of us now. It’s fantastic!'

Paul and Sonja

Sally and Clive

Sally: ‘Marriage was ok most of the time but I hoped that the course was going to tell Clive how he should behave or what he had to do, when actually it showed me what I needed to do and how I should behave! I knew I loved Clive but The Marriage Course made me fall in love with him all over again.’

Clive: ‘I’m one of those people who learned the most. I couldn’t believe how much I got wrong about how Sally needed to be loved.’

They said: ‘It has strengthened our love for each other more than we could have possible imagined. Previously, we would have described ourselves as being happily married for 39 years, now as we approach our 40th anniversary it’s getting dramatically better.’

Pete & Gill

Gill: ‘The Marriage Course saved our marriage. Pete had no hope beforehand and the turnaround was dramatic. However, the impact of the course was much more than that. The course provided a window through which love’s incredible healing and renewing power steamed in. Bathing in that light, we were brought not just closer together, we were brought closer to the presence of love’s source; really close: the deep intimacy that comes from knowing and being known, by one another and by God who is love.’

Pete: ‘The course have me the ability to see our relationship in a completely new way. It challenged me to ask myself, did I want the bad things in our life to have the final word on our relationship? A glimmer of hope came back, which over the course grew to a real desire and commitment to rescue our relationship and make that our number one goal. Our marriage is now such fun and so very exciting. Who wouldn’t want to see that sort of thing spread around a bit more?’